Treatment for Interpersonal and Relationship Difficulties in Toronto
Doctoral-Level Psychological Care

Treatment for interpersonal and relationship difficulties at Laksman Doell Psychology is delivered by doctoral-level registered psychologists, both in person at our office in the Annex neighbourhood of Toronto and virtually across Ontario.

What Interpersonal and Relationship Difficulties Look Like

“Even the dysfunctional patterns that we carry into relationships make sense when we understand where they come from. These patterns were shaped by the relationships that raised us, and they show up in the relationships that we have now”

The same dynamic keeps repeating in your relationships. Different people. Same outcome. The same ways of moving towards and away. The same ways that we read tone, and that we react when we feel unseen. The same pattern of making ourselves smaller as a way to avoid disappointing others. The same fight that we cannot quite stop having, with whomever happens to be standing across from us. You are starting to wonder if the common factor is you. The honest answer is both yes and no, and the work is in understanding the difference.

Humans are fundamentally social creatures. Our ancestors needed relationships for survival, and to this day, relationships are an important source of connection and fulfillment that contribute to both our physical health and emotional well-being in a myriad of ways. Of course, there are also individual differences in the extent to which we might seek relationships and the comfort within which we exist in relationships. Some of us crave relationships more than others do, and some of us find that relationships are harder to navigate. Sometimes this might simply be about preferences, but sometimes these differences can be reflective of an underlying concern related to the experience of past relational trauma, of longstanding patterns of attachment, of neurodiversity, of low self-esteem, or of social anxiety that can make it difficult to relate to others in the manner that we would like to.

Individuals who are looking to work on interpersonal and relationship difficulties often start by identifying the patterns that serve as a common thread running through their relational history. Whether it shows up with past caregivers, romantic partners, or friends, in our role as parents, or within high-pressure workplace dynamics. By bringing these relational patterns into our conscious awareness, we can better understand our relational needs, build constructive communication strategies, and learn to act from a more grounded, values-driven and empowered place.

It is also important to recognize that relationships do not occur in a vacuum. Context matters, and interpersonal and relationship difficulties come from somewhere. Relationships are shaped by the dynamics between us, the influence of culture, environment, and significant life events, and all of this sits upon the relational histories that each of us brings into our relationships. Real change is built upon an acknowledgement of the foundation that is created by all of these forces.

Sometimes individuals who are struggling with relationship difficulties come to therapy with a partner, or a family member, when they are looking to make changes within that specific relationship. Sometimes, however, it is about understanding patterns where one partner is currently unwilling, unable, or simply not ready to engage in couples work, or it is about understanding patterns that cut across multiple relationships. In these cases, treatment for interpersonal and relationship difficulties is rooted in systems theory, with a strong awareness that changing one part of the relational system can have a significant impact on the other connected parts of the system. Thus, working on the roles that each of us play within our relationships can have important impacts on the behaviour of others.

That said, one important distinction to note is that much of the work that falls under the umbrella of “interpersonal and relationship difficulties”, and that we are speaking to on this page, does not apply to the experience of relationships that are abusive. If you are currently in a relationship with a partner who is engaging in coercive control, or who speaks to you in a threatening or degrading manner, or you (or others in your life) identify their behaviour as financially, physically, sexually or emotionally abusive, then it is important to see that this is their behaviour and their responsibility. When abuse is present, the goal is not about self-reflection and understanding, it is about finding safety and support, and about connecting with resources that can help us to prioritize our own well-being. If you are coming to this page because you identify that you are in an abusive relationship, then we would encourage you to take a look at the resources listed in our FAQ section below.

IF YOU ARE READING THIS

You may not be sure what you need, but something brought you here…

You recognize the same pattern across multiple relationships. Your sense of never quite being enough and of always feeling like you have to please the other person, often to the detriment of your own needs. It happens in different settings. At work. At home. With friends. The pattern is loud enough now that you cannot keep telling yourself that it is always the other person.
You have always recognized yourself as someone with high standards. Those standards have served you well in school and in your career, but you want to understand why the same strategies that you find motivating are causing harm to your relationships, and what you can do differently.
You moved away from your family of origin, or toward them, or somewhere in between, and the patterns came with you. You want to understand where they came from, what they were trying to do for you, and how to build relationships that do not run on the same script.
Your close relationships feel predictable and satisfying but at work you are struggling to connect or to feel heard. Or, perhaps it is the other way around. Either way, you are trying to figure out what it is that is contributing to your difficulties in one context but not the other, because both matter deeply to you.

This is what has brought you here. And you are in the right place.

TREATMENT FOR INTERPERSONAL AND RELATIONSHIP DIFFICULTIES IN TORONTO

The different types of relationship difficulties that we treat:

At Laksman Doell Psychology, we provide psychological treatment to adult individuals who are looking to better understand the dynamics within the relationships that find themselves struggling with. Sometimes that means developing a better understanding of why it is that we react in certain ways across our relationships. Sometimes it is about developing new strategies or exploring different ways of relating to others and to ourselves. Often it is about both. And when the issue that is bringing someone in for treatment is more about communication or interpersonal skills, we can help there too. Whether that work is about understanding ourselves and our repeating patterns so that we can communicate more constructively, so that we can express ourselves more effectively, or so that we feel better equipped to repair ruptures quickly and consistently.

Our doctoral-level psychologists provide therapy that promotes better understanding, and further development of strategies, that help individuals to improve their experience of interpersonal and relationship difficulties across a broad range of different relationships, including:

Complex Family Dynamics

The relationship and communication dynamics within our family of origin have a large and lasting impact on our mental health, our adult relationships, and our sense of self. Sometimes, work on complex family dynamics is about understanding the impact of intergenerational trauma, breaking dysfunctional patterns, or working through unfinished business with our primary attachment figures. Sometimes it is about understanding, and learning to step out of, the roles that we learned to play within our family in order to protect ourselves or to keep the family peace.

Romantic Relationships and Dating

Sometimes the difficulty is about understanding what we are looking for in a partner. Sometimes the problem is in understanding how to express our needs in a romantic context. Sometimes it is about wanting to understand why we keep making what feel like the wrong choices or settling for less than we deserve. And, sometimes it is about feeling uncomfortable putting ourselves out there or looking for a partner in the first place. Whatever the problem in this area, understanding ourselves is often the necessary first step towards finding a solution that works for us.

Parenting

The relationships that we have with our children can be the most meaningful relationships in our lives, but can sometimes also be the most challenging. Parenting is a job that never ends, that is constantly evolving as our children move through different developmental stages, and that we step into with little to no training or orientation. Sometimes we need a safe space to walk through frustrations, to problem solve competing demands, to figure out how to communicate constructively or to set boundaries collaboratively, or to talk about the barriers to letting go and fostering independence.

Ambivalence about Staying

…or ambivalence about leaving. When we find ourselves in a relationship that isn’t quite meeting our needs, it can be easy to feel stuck. Staying feels hard, but leaving may feel even harder. And the more that you try to convince yourself to make a decision either way, the harder it may feel. It is important to understand that ambivalence is a normal part of the process of change, and sometimes what we need is help to walk through this process with a professional who is both skilled in helping people to get unstuck, and who understands the importance of not making this decision lightly.

Work Relationships

We spend more waking hours with our coworkers than with almost anyone else in our life. We have to trust them, coordinate with them, and rely on them, and yet unlike our romantic partner or our friends, we do not get to choose them. The patterns that play out in our work relationships are often an extension of the patterns that play out elsewhere in our lives. The fear of being unseen, or making a mistake, or of disappointing others. The learned behaviours that work for us, until they don’t, when something like a reorganization, a new manager, or a new role, forces an adaptation that we aren’t yet prepared to make.

Caregiving

Caregiving relationships often carry additional emotional burden that isn’t fully appreciated or that doesn’t easily find space to be explicitly addressed. Supporting a spouse, a parent, or a loved one through a chronic illness or an ongoing decline in functioning carries its own unique combination of exhaustion, grief, and loneliness. Individuals who find themselves in caregiving roles, or who find themselves sandwiched between two generations for whom they are proving care, often benefit from therapy that provides them with tools to process and prioritize their own emotional needs.

OUR APPROACH

Treatment that starts with understanding you.

At Laksman Doell Psychology, our doctoral-level psychologists work with adult individuals to explore and to understand the relationships and the relational dynamics that they are looking to change. This often entails working to develop deeper understanding of the underlying emotional and relational needs that we are seeking to fulfill with the other people in our life. For example, the need to be seen, to be accepted, or to be supported. It can also be about furthering our understanding of the ways in which the behaviour of others tends to contribute to our own emotional and behavioural reactions, and about developing a new set of strategies to help us tend to our emotional pain and to address maladaptive patterns of relating to others.

The work is individualized and collaborative. The first few sessions are about assessing and understanding both you and your experience of relationships: the interpersonal dynamics that you are carrying with you from childhood but that are no longer serving you, the attachment patterns that continue to play out in your adult relationships, the influence of past relational trauma, of culture, of socioeconomic scarcity, or of the lived-experience of neurodiversity. The work is to see the patterns clearly and to understand where they came from, so that we can both build the skills to interrupt them and to develop new ways of connecting differently across the relationships that matter most to us.

Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) helps us to understand how our emotional reactions to others are related to the underlying assumptions and interpretations that drive how we read other people and how we respond to them. Emotion-Focused Therapy (EFT) helps us to identify, to accept, and to transform emotions, to understand our underlying needs, and to address the unfinished business that results from relational needs that have gone unaddressed for far too long. And, when the patterns trace back to longstanding attachment dynamics, we bring in interpersonally oriented psychotherapies that work specifically with the relational templates that live under the surface of our current relationships.

Our treatment approach for interpersonal and relationship difficulties is deeply grounded in systems theory. Relationship difficulties are most often seen as arising not as the result of the behaviour of one individual, but rather as a result of the recurring interaction patterns and cycles within the entire relational unit. Thus, our clinical focus rests on a core systemic truth: that because all parts of a relationship are interconnected, a meaningful shift in how even one person engages in the relationship will fundamentally transform the dynamics for everyone involved.

OUR DIFFERENCE

Specialist training.
Private practice access.

Every clinician at Laksman Doell Psychology is a doctoral-level psychologist who is registered with, or working toward registration with, the College of Psychologists and Behaviour Analysts of Ontario (CPBAO). We work with adults to understand the patterns that show up in their relationships and to build the skills to do something different. Our team has trained at sites including, but not limited to, the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health (CAMH), Sunnybrook Health Science Centre, St. Joseph’s Healthcare Hamilton, Princess Margaret Cancer Centre, Toronto General, North York General, Cleveland Clinic Canada, and the University of Toronto.

Several of our team members have expertise in both individual and couples therapy and bring great depth in their understanding of conflictual relationship dynamics and the strategies that help us to get unstuck. We also have psychologists with particular expertise in relationship dynamics that are inherent to specific contexts (including demanding or high-pressure workplaces, or for those individuals who are navigating the process of dating in the current climate) and specific roles (including parenting, caregiving, or workplace relationships). Sessions are available in person at 27 Prince Arthur Avenue in the Annex neighbourhood of Toronto, or virtually across Ontario via PHIPA-compliant video. All services are available virtually to any Ontario resident. No referral required.

GET STARTED

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Frequently Asked Questions

Can I come alone, or do I need to bring a partner?

You can absolutely come alone. Treatment for interpersonal and relationship difficulties is available for individuals who are working on patterns in any relationship, whether that is with a partner, a parent, a sibling, a child, or a colleague, or whether you are looking to explore, to understand, and to shift patterns that exist across multiple relationships.

Can I change my attachment style with therapy?

Yes. Attachment styles are not fixed and immutable personality traits. Rather, they are learned behavioural patterns that represent deeply ingrained relational templates, familial histories, and behavioral urges that were once adaptive but that can be rewired through new experience of secure and healthy relationships and through therapy that promotes psychological flexibility and intentional behavior change.

Is this the same as couples therapy?

Not exactly. Treatment for interpersonal and relationship difficulties can be done as an individual to both understand and work on how you show up in relationships, or as a couple working on your relationship dynamics. Couples therapy goes deeper into the cycle between two specific people. If you’re not sure which is right for you, our intake process can help to clarify what might be the best fit.

What should I do if I am in an abusive relationship?

If you are in an abusive relationship, then it is important to seek safety and support immediately. For Canadian women who have experienced abuse from a current or past partner, the iHeal mobile app or web tool iHeal is a Canadian-made comprehensive resource that helps women to think through options to help promote their safety, health and well-being and to connect with local resources, and Shelter Safe Shelter Safe is another online resource for women and their children who are seeking safety from violence and abuse, which can help to connect you to supports and services across Canada. Importantly, shelters are not only physical spaces to seek safety from abusive relationships; they also usually provide comprehensive, wrap-around services (e.g., free or reduced-fee counselling, legal services, etc.) or can quickly provide appropriate referrals. The government of Canada also keeps an online list of resources available for victims of family violence that are available to men, youth, Indigenous peoples, older adults, and trans people across Canada and by province at here.
If you or someone you care about are in immediate danger or require urgent assistance, then do not hesitate to call 911.

Do I need a referral for treatment for interpersonal and relationship difficulties in Toronto?

No. You can contact us directly. No referral from a physician or psychiatrist is required.

Is treatment for interpersonal and relationship difficulties at your practice covered by OHIP?

Private practice services are not covered by OHIP. Coverage may be available through extended health benefits, as many plans cover the services of a registered psychologist. We recommend confirming with your provider before commencing treatment.

Can I be seen virtually?

Yes. All services are available virtually via PHIPA-compliant video for any Ontario resident.

Life is complicated. We give you clarity.

The first step is a brief consultation to help understand what you are looking for. Email us at [email protected] or complete our contact form online.