Emotional Mastery at Work: Responding to our Emotions

Struggling to keep your cool under pressure? These tools for emotional self-management can help you stay calm, clear-headed, and effective.

Emotion is our body’s way of communicating important information to us, such as what we need, what matters most to us, what our values are, and what actions (if any) we need to take. Making emotions work for us, or being emotionally intelligent, involves understanding and managing our emotions, as well as recognizing and influencing the emotions of those around us.

Having emotional intelligence (EI) is especially important in the workplace where higher levels of EI are related to better communication, performance, and leadership. Luckily for us, there are skills that we can practice and cultivate to increase our EI in the workplace. One such skill, self-management, involves managing our emotions so that we can use them more effectively at work.

Here are some ways to help manage emotions at work:

Pause or take a time-out. Ineffective or destructive emotions tend to be intense, automatic, and reactive. Actions that delay our emotional reactions (such as taking a breath, taking a walk, or calling a friend) will help to bring emotional intensity down so that we can respond rather than react to the situation at hand.
Learn your emotional sensitivities. A better understanding of what sets us off emotionally (often referred to as our “triggers”) can help us to normalize our intense feelings (i.e., “it makes sense that I’m feeling this way in this situation”). When we normalize our feelings, they tend to become less confusing and less intense over time. Also, knowing what our emotional sensitivities are leaves us better equipped to respond more effectively to triggering situations because we will not be caught off guard by our intense feelings.
Do something soothing. Taking care of our emotional state helps to reduce the intensity, discomfort, or confusion, that can be associated with emotions. Self-soothing involves deliberately engaging in activities that calm the nervous system. For example, practicing with mindful or deep breathing, going for a walk, taking a warm bath, etc.
Release emotions productively. Speak to a friend or therapist, do some journalling, or move your body. Expressing our emotions through writing, speech, or movement helps to release our emotional ‘pressure valve’ and prevents our emotions from further piling up and intensifying.

Dr. Natalie Ferreira is a Clinical Psychologist at Laksman Doell Psychology. She has a passion for helping individuals to increase their emotional intelligence at work and in relationships, so they can lead more enriched and fulfilling lives.