Boosting Performance with Compassion Rather Than Criticism

High achievers often push through with self-criticism, but what if self-compassion is actually the key to performing at your best? Here’s how to shift your mindset and still show up strong.

For many of us, having high expectations and a passion for excellence are part of living a vibrant and healthy life. But when things don’t go the way we want, a common mistake is to pull criticism, rather than compassion, out of our mental health toolbox. Criticism can feel productive, but compassion is more likely to get us the results that we desire.

The next time that you don’t meet your own expectations, try following these steps:

Let go of judgments. Instead of beating yourself for mistakes, try describing what happened and the actual consequences (e.g., “I felt very tired and decided not to check my work, so my slide deck had a mistake in it” instead of “I was too lazy to do a good job”).
Replace frustration with curiosity. Imagine that the situation you are struggling with is a business case or a problem to solve. Try to diagnose the problems, imagine creative solutions, and devise a strategy that would give your client (you!) hope that things can improve.
Be honest, but kind. Take these insights and share them with yourself in the same way that you would give feedback to an employee or peer. Often the language that we use when we talk to ourselves is much more harsh and critical than when we talk to others.

Many of us got to where we are today using criticism. So, if you are skeptical, try this at home before trying it at work. The next time you make a small annoying mistake like forgetting to take the garbage out or spilling coffee on your friend’s new carpet, try these strategies. Be willing to experiment and see what works best—putting yourself down, or using the transformative power of self-compassion to raise yourself up.

Dr. Andrew Hunter is a Clinical Psychologist at Laksman Doell Psychology. He has passionately pursued the intersection of mental health, business, and optimal performance throughout his career. In addition to his clinical work, he holds an MBA from the University of Toronto’s Rotman School of Management and has previous experience working in management consultancy. He is passionate about using his diverse skillset to collaborate with individuals pursuing transformative intrapersonal change, and to facilitate well-being at scale