Either You’re Winning, or You’re Learning

Reframe Failure: Why High Achievers Should Embrace the “Winning or Learning” Mindset.

Individuals in high-pressure, competitive environments often think about results in one of two ways—something was either a success or a failure. When we are debriefing a project or receiving our year-end evaluation, it is all too easy to think in terms of success or failure. Did the client like the project, or not? Did I get a promotion, or not?

Our love of rewards and distaste for losses is part of what helped us to thrive in high-pressure, competitive environments in the first place. Even though we may find it exhausting and demoralizing at times, our thirst for excellence is indispensable.

At Laksman Doell, we will be the first to encourage you to hold onto your need to excel. But we suggest that a different mindset would serve you better. It’s not that you are either succeeding or failing. Instead, either you’re winning, or you’re learning.

Even though the “success-failure” binary feels productive, it can lead us to dwell on the past (“now I won’t be promoted”) and personalize results (“Maybe I’m not cut out for this”). We cannot improve if we are overly focused on the fact that we “failed”. In contrast, the “winning or learning” mindset inspires us to use each moment as an opportunity to refine our process. When we underperform expectations, we are encouraged to explore why it happened, and what we can do about it.

The next time that you do not accomplish a goal, try asking yourself these questions:

What would a mentor say that I could try differently next time I am in a situation like this?
What gaps in my knowledge or skills would I have to address in order to reach a different outcome next time?
What upcoming opportunities do I have to put these learnings into action and to evaluate my progress?

Try these steps over the next week and analyze the effect on your performance and well-being. Try it with your direct reports too—when they submit sub-par work, focus less on their “failures” and more on what you need to teach them. Shifting your mindset to focus on improvement will help you to build resilience and to bring you closer to your goals.

Dr. Andrew Hunter is a Clinical Psychologist at Laksman Doell Psychology. He has passionately pursued the intersection of mental health, business, and optimal performance throughout his career. In addition to his clinical work, he holds an MBA from the University of Toronto’s Rotman School of Management and has previous experience working in management consultancy. He is passionate about using his diverse skillset to collaborate with individuals pursuing transformative intrapersonal change, and to facilitate well-being at scale.